Are Your Expectations Too High About Something?
Are your expecations too high?
Have you ever expected something to happen a certain way only to find out that there is way more to the situation than you had originally thought?
My 42 year old client just recently suffered a reality shock that we both thought would end her ability to hope again.
The EXPECTATION-RESENTMENT LOOP is the process by which you may develop overly high expectations that you carry out while ignoring the facts that may help you make more realistic decisions.
Expectations have both:
1. Affective aspects, and
2. Cognitive aspects
Affective aspects include the emotions associated with your expectations, while cognitive aspects include the thoughts you may have about the expectations you hold.
***Consider the high expectations of a new mother or father who only imagines the baby’s birth and the few days after. There are definitely high emotions associated with this and the thoughts (cognitions) experienced may be limited because of how high the emotional aspect of the expectations are.
Because of how these new parents feel, they have probably forgotten they have had 2 miscarriages in the past, their age (45) has made conception difficult, and it may not be safe to conceive.
This is where the resentment part of this loop starts.
***The best way to prevent the expectation-resentment loop is to always check and double check the reality of your expectations. Ask yourself:
– “is this really likely to happen?”
-“Could there may anything I need to
consider that would make my expectations more realistic?”