Urgent need to be picked up

Psychological Urgency is an actual thing in today’s world and in the world of psychology. In fact, the “urgency principle” is used to describe ways marketers gain an advantage over vulnerable people.

The “urgency principal” is quite popular around the summer and even more popular around holiday time.

This article will discuss ways to overcome “psychological urgency” that may occur in many of your relationships.

Psychological urgency can be created in a variety of ways by many people who are “skilled” at manipulating others. Urgency can be a powerful weapon used by a manipulator. Urgency gives the impression that something must happen now.

For more information on this topic, navigate to my blog at blogs.psychcentral.com/caregivers August 9th to see the full article. Also stay tuned for the audio blog post on ways to overcome manipulative tactics involving urgency.

Creating Urgency

But the following are 3 major ways manipulators set out to control using urgency:

1. Status: Sadly, most of society is concerned (overly concerned) with how other people view them. You must have the best outfit, car, home, boyfriend or husband, children, school, neighborhood, etc. Vanity is among us and I don’t see it going away any time soon. Someone who wants to manipulate or control you may utilize “status” or reminders of “class level” to control you. For example, a mother who has worked in politics for over 15 years, has a hefty bank account, has purchased a very expensive car and home, and who has sent all of her kids to private top-notch schools may use urgency to keep her kids “in check.” She may tell her daughter “only wear the best close my darling so you can really stand out. No one wants to see you wearing jeans with holes in them, even if it is the style of today. You must dress the part at all times. Do you want Elanor down the street to see you that way? Do you want her to judge you? No! So dress better, okay?”
2. Desire: Some people know exactly what your desire is and can use that against you. For example, lets say you are in a relationship with a good guy you have grown to love and truly care about but you find yourself drifting away because something “just isn’t right.” You may ask to meet up with him to talk. He catches on to what sounds like sadness in your voice. He may “turn on” his charm and begin to show you compassion, love, concern, or tenderness. After you discuss your concerns he may say something like “are you sure you want to break up? We were so  close to getting engaged? My dreams and your dreams will be broken and we may never be able to go back? These statements not only cause you to second guess your conclusion, but also causes you to waver and now he has control over your emotions.
3. Memories: Memories are powerful. They are episodic and special. In fact, the brain stores special memories of an emotional nature in the amygdala. That’s why a simple fragrance, a color, or a sound can trigger a cascade of memories. This is also partially why PTSD can be a challenge for those who suffer from flashbacks. But memories can also be used by a manipulator to keep you bound and trapped. For example, you may feel the need to leave your job because your supervisor isn’t emotionally healthy and is causing you trouble being passive-aggressive. You may decide to leave in the next 3 weeks and do the decent thing by giving your supervisor your resignation. Your supervisor may spend those last 3 weeks treating you kindly, engaging you in humor, or even reminding you of things you and your supervisor did to overcome a challenge. Don’t fall for it.

Call to action

So what do you think about these tactics? Have they happened in your life? If so, how did you approach it?

Post your comments or questions below.